Anthony Peter Coleman (Bill Hader), a war veteran, attends a puppeteering class with his identical puppet Tony. His nightmarish memories of combat put a damper on the light puppetry class.[1]
The Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started a Conversation with at a Party
Cecily Strong appears on Weekend Update and provides incoherent diatribes, largely political in nature, with plenty of malaprops, while texting and rummaging in her purse.
Following the character's first appearance, TV Guide called the character "hilarious";[5]Entertainment Weekly labeled it "the funniest performance of the night."[6] The sketch was the fifth most popular SNL clip on Hulu in 2012.[7]
In an interview with Chicago Magazine, which said the character "has become a sensation", Strong said:
[The character is] a mix of a lot of people—including myself, unfortunately. But it came about when I was talking to one of the writers, Colin Jost. And I said something that sounded like a drunk-girl ramble. And we just started riffing on that. And as it turns out, I’m not the only one who’s had a conversation with this type of girl.[8]
Regine (Fred Armisen) is a rude, pretentious woman introduced in each appearance as the host's new girlfriend. The host demonstrates to his friends how Regine goes into physical contortions of ecstasy when he touches certain parts of her body.
Bobby Moynihan plays astronaut Kirby J. Buttercream, who annoys his fellow astronauts with stories about his love for his "little kitty cat", Fuzz Aldrin. At the end of each sketch, it is revealed that he smuggled his cat on board the spacecraft.
Mission to destroy an asteroid on a collision course with earth.
Last Call (Sheila Sovage)
Sheila Sovage (Kate McKinnon) and a character played by the host are the final two customers at a bar, and convince themselves to hook up despite their lack of physical chemistry. Their awkward attempts at hitting on and kissing each other dismay the bartender (Kenan Thompson).
Aidy Bryant and Cecily Strong play Morgan and Kyra, the teenage hosts of "Girlfriends Talk Show." Morgan is surprised to find that Kyra has invited her new and impressively cool friend (played by the episode's host) to join them. Throughout the sketch, the new friend rudely dismisses Morgan's contributions, making Morgan increasingly insecure and upset.
"Girlfriends Talk Show" received mixed reviews from reviewers, with several crediting Bryant's performance for making it worthwhile.[23][24][25] In discussing the sketch's first appearance, both Vulture and HitFix singled out Bryant's line, "No, you should be called Roach Wearhouse!" for special appreciation.[26][27]Rolling Stone called the sketch "side-splitting."[28] However the Huffington Post called the skit "bad" saying it was based entirely on "annoying teenage voice."[23]
Johansson plays last year's prom queen Camden Cruthers.
Niff and Dana
When two employees (Bobby Moynihan and Cecily Strong) find out at a staff meeting that someone is about to be fired, they assume it's them and use it as an opportunity to call out all their co-workers on various failings and transgressions. The host plays their manager who finally tells Niff and Dana that the fired employee is someone else.
Niff and Dana speak out when someone is going to get fired at Best Buy. Robinson was no longer in the show's cast for season 39; the fired employee turns out to be Mandrew (Taran Killam), described by Niff and Dana to have a serial killer-type look.
A court show run by Judge Marshall T. Boudreaux (Jason Sudeikis) and Jessop the Bailiff (played by the host) in which a bewildered defendant finds himself surrounded by people who repeatedly emphasize that they are in Bangor, Maine while giving every possible indication that they are in Louisiana. The characters all have thick Southern accents, and make many references to alligators (an alligator is also featured in the show's logo and as a live-hand puppet in the second sketch) and the bayou. In the sketch's first instance, Judge Boudreaux refers to a character going to school "up there" in Connecticut, but says she could also "learn a thing down here in Maine, as well!" Judge Boudreaux and Jessop the Bailiff extoll Maine as the home of jazz and Mardi Gras.
In both episodes, the defendant, who is not a local, inevitably loses the case and is sentenced to eat spicy or soggy New Orleans food.
In the first sketch, when the confused defendant asks about the absurdity of the situation, Judge Boudreaux, Jessop the Bailiff, and the plaintiff offer possibilities like:
They relocated to Maine after Hurricane Katrina and didn't want to change their ways.
They're "part of some kind of courtroom exchange program."
A "space-time portal" exists between Maine and New Orleans and they're confused about which side they're on.
They don't suggest which, if any, of these explanations is the truth.
Sarah Ann Tucker (Aidy Bryant) sues Ethan Vandermark (Bobby Moynihan) for running up the utility bill in a house he rented from her where Ethan claimed that a leak in the basement was responsible. Judge Boudreaux finds in favor of the plaintiff and sentences Ethan to eat the spiciest jambalaya in town. Jamie Foxx plays Jessop the Bailiff. Charlie Day makes a cameo appearance as Congressman Finton Worthington Carey who testifies against Ethan on Sarah Ann's behalf.[34][35]
Lila Jean Devereaux (Kate McKinnon) sues a college student named Peter Goldstein (cameo appearance by Andy Samberg) over a traffic incident on Union Street resulting in neck injuries where he rear-ended her at the stop sign the same time when an alligator was crossing the road. During the sketch, Peter mentions that he's a graduate of LSU to which Judge Boudreaux and Jessop react with disgust and revulsion (actually antithetical to their behavior in general since being an LSU alum would most likely cast one in a favorable light with actual Louisiana residents). Judge Boudreaux finds in favor of the plaintiff and sentences Peter to eat an entire bag of the soggiest and messiest beignets in town. Justin Timberlake plays Jessop the Bailiff. A live-hand alligator puppet is used to play the alligator that entered the courtroom pretending to be a judge.[36][37]
Former Porn Star Commercials
Three former porn stars—Brecky (Vanessa Bayer), an unnamed woman (Cecily Strong), and a guest (played by the host)—film a barely coherent commercial for a glamorous product, in the hope of receiving free samples from the company.
Swarovski crystals. The ladies constantly pronounce "Swarovski" as "Sabosky," while Foxx calls it "Sharky Crystals." Foxx plays "Sammy Stamina."[34][38]
Moët & Chandon champagne. The ladies consistently pronounce "Chandon" as "Chambum," while Timberlake calls it "Monica & Chandler." Timberlake plays "Ricky V. I. Penis."[39][40]
Hermès handbags. The women refer to the brand as "Herman's," while Affleck calls it "Herpes", and appears to initially believe that the commercial is an informational spot about that disease, but the women clarify things for him—somewhat. Affleck plays "Girth Brooks," which, coincidentally (or not), is the name of a gay porn star.[41]
Manolo Blahnik shoes. The women refer to the brand as "Manuel Blondicks," while Fey calls it "Manilow Blankets", and inexplicably associates them with Barry Manilow. Fey plays "LeJean Noween."
Bulgari watches. The women refer to the brand as "Bivilgagi," while Samberg calls it "Biv G. Roy." Samberg plays "Tweedle-Dee" while Kristen Wiig plays "Tweedle-Dong".
Sunseeker Yachts. The women pronounce the brand, "Sunsinker Yok-its" while the men call it "SeersuckerYaks" and talk about dressing yaks in seersucker suits. James Franco plays "Captain Jack Swallow" and Seth Rogen appears in cameo as "James Franco".
Dolce & Gabbana. The women pronounce the brand, "Dole-ky and Gabbaba", while Hemsworth call it "Douche and Go Bye-Bye". Hemsworth plays "Dong Juan De Dark Hole".
Eddie's sister Heather (Nasim Pedrad) introduces her new boyfriend Michael (Bieber), who accidentally combines the words "glad" and "nice" into "glice."[42] The sketch is called "Protective Brother".[43]
Eddie's mother (Vanessa Bayer) introduces her new boyfriend (Willis), who accidentally combines the words "child" and "son" into "chun."[44] The sketch is called "Protective Son".[44]
Olya Povlatsky
Russian native Olya Povlatsky (Kate McKinnon) appears on Weekend Update to describe the hellish conditions of life in her impoverished village.
In the episode's cold open, Olya and Vladimir Putin (a shirtless Beck Bennett) assure the American people that everything will be alright with Donald Trump as president.
Sheila Kelly
Sheila Kelly (Melissa McCarthy) is an extremely rude, aggressive, and violent woman.
Kelly first appeared as a basketball coach at the fictional university Middle Delaware State, in a satire of the Rutgers University scandal involving coach Mike Rice Jr.
