A couple in front of an LDS temple following their temple sealing marriage ceremony. LDS leaders have stated that opposite-sex marriage should not be viewed as a therapeutic step for members physically attracted to those of the same sex.[4]
Because all homosexual sexual activity is condemned as sinful by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) in its law of chastity, and the church teaches that God does not approve of same-sex marriage,[5][6] many LGBTQ members of the LDS Church have felt that they should marry someone of the opposite sex. According to LDS historian Greg Prince, for decades church leaders counseled many men to be sealed to a women with the promise this would "cure" their homosexuality, and the overall track record of these mixed-orientation marriages (MOMs) has "generally been dismal, often catastrophic, and sometimes lethal" despite the best intentions.[10]
The church's 2012 website acknowledged by implication that past leaders' advice for individuals attracted to the same-sex to marry someone of the opposite sex may have been erroneous.[7]: 217 Leaders have said that homosexual attractions will not continue past death,[3] and that those who don't have an opportunity to be married in this life will in the afterlife.[11][12]
All homosexual sexual activity is condemned as sinful by the church, and it teaches that God does not approve of same-sex marriage.[5][6] Adherents who participate in same-sex sexual behavior may face church discipline. Members of the church who experience homosexual attractions, including those who self-identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual remain in good standing in the church if they abstain from same-sex marriage and any homosexual sexual activity or sexual relationships outside an opposite-sex marriage.[7]: 116 [3][13] However, all people, including those in same-sex relationships and marriages, are permitted to attend the weekly Sunday meetings.[14]
A diagrammed timeline of humanity according to LDS teachings called the plan of salvation showing potential destinations on the right side after death.
In the church's plan of salvation noncelibate gay and lesbian individuals will not be allowed in the top tier of heaven to receive exaltation unless they repent during mortality, and a heterosexual marriage is a requirement for exaltation.[15][16] The LDS Church has campaigned against government recognition of same-sex marriage, and the topic of same-sex marriage has been one of the church's foremost public concerns since 1993.[7]: 1 These current teachings and policies leave homosexual members with the options of attempting a mixed-orientation opposite-sex marriage,[7]: 27 [8]: 108 or living a lifetime of celibacy without any sexual expression.[19]
In the church's plan of salvation noncelibate gay and lesbian individuals will not be allowed in the top tier of heaven to receive what's called exaltation to become like God unless they repent, and a heterosexual marriage is a requirement.[15][16] Author Charlotte Scholl Shurtz stated that the focus on Heavenly Parents as a cisgender, heterosexual couple enshrines heteronormativity and teaches that heterosexuality is an essential prerequisite to godhood.[20]: 69, 77–78 She further said that current teachings deny exaltation and godhood for LGBTQ+ people unless they eternally perform a cisgender, heterosexual relationship after death.[20]: 77–78, 80
Prevalence
Evergreen director David Pruden was quoted as stating in 2002 that 40% of the approximately 150 callers requesting help each month on their hotline were Mormon men married to women, and distressed about their homosexual attractions.[21][21]: 134 Additionally, a 2004 publication quoted Family Services statistics which showed that about half of the approximately 400 gay Mormon men they had seen as clients for over a year during the past 30 years were married, though only half of those were able to stay married.[21]: 135[22]
The church teaches that heterosexual marriage is one of several requirements for afterlife entry into the "highest degree of glory" in the celestial kingdom. Church leaders previously encouraged this, with one former church employee stating in 1986 that he had experienced pressure to marry at the age of 24 in the belief that it would change his homosexual feelings, later resulting in a divorce.[23] Artist Trevor Southey stated that he was counseled by the church to marry a woman in an attempt to reorient his sexuality, and the marriage ultimately failed.[7]: 9
In 2012 an official church website stated church leaders no longer necessarily advise opposite-sex marriage to those attracted to the same sex.[1][45] The first high-ranking LDS leaders to publicly speak out against mixed-orientation marriages was Gordon Hinckley in 1987 when he stated that "marriage should not be viewed as a therapeutic step to solve problems such as homosexual inclinations or practices ...."[46][7]: 29 Church publications now warn local congregation leaders that encouraging members to attempt to cultivate heterosexual feelings generally leads to frustration and discouragement.[47] Previously, the church had taught that it was possible to overcome same-sex feelings,[48]: 36–38 and that heterosexual feelings can emerge once an individual ceases any same-sex sexual activity, making a heterosexual marriage possible.[47]
Oaks stated in 2007 that marriages should not be entered under false pretenses,[3] but also stated a heterosexual marriage would be appropriate for a man attracted to men who had "shown their ability to deal with these feelings or inclinations and put them in the background, and feel a great attraction for a daughter of God".[3] The most recent statement by a general church leader as of 2015 was when the apostle Oaks stated that leaders no longer recommend marriage as a solution for same-gender feelings.[2]: 17:32 Another recent mention is in the church website on homosexuality which features a gay man married to a straight woman.[49]
Changes in teachings on dating & marriage for LGBTQ members
Topic
Earlier teachings
Current teachings
Heterosexual dating and marriage
As a therapeutic step to overcome homosexuality[54]
Several surveys have been done on the topic of LGBT Mormons and opposite-sex marriages. A 1997 study by members of the BYU Family Studies Department found that of over 200 single LDS women of diverse ages polled, 33% would be willing to seriously date and consider marriage with a hypothetical LDS college grad who had been sexually active with other men 3 years ago.[56] A 2015 study found that 51% of the 1,612 LGBT Mormon respondents who had entered a mixed-orientation marriage ended up divorcing,[9]: 301 [57]
The study projected that 69% of all these marriages would ultimately end in divorce.[8]: 108 [58][59] The study also found that engaging in mixed-orientation marriages and involvement in the LDS Church were correlated with higher rates of depression and a lower quality of life for LGBT people.[61] In 2007 during a panel held in a church headquarters building, several gay LDS members reported that they were able to maintain their heterosexual marriage.[62]
^ abBeaver, Michelle (March 11, 2011). "Mormon church has a fractured history with gays". The Mercury News. San Jose, California: Digital First Media. Retrieved January 16, 2023. There are three levels to the heaven in which Mormons believe, and to make it to the highest level, one must be married. Perhaps the most sacred church ordinance is the temple marriage, a "sealing" between a man and a woman that is believed to be eternal, according to Richley Crapo, a Utah State University professor. There is no place for homosexuality in Mormon marriages, and no place for noncelibate homosexuals in the top level of Mormon heaven, unless that person has repented accordingly in the afterlife.
^ abPetrey, Taylor G. (February 4, 2015). "My Husband's Not Gay: Homosexuality and the LDS Church". Religion & Politics. St. Louis, Missouri: Washington University in St. Louis. John C. Danforth Center on Religion and Politics. Retrieved February 27, 2023. In the Mormon cosmos, as presently understood, there is simply no room for same-sex relationships. For Mormons, the afterlife consists of heterosexual pairs of divinized men and women. Often church leaders have counseled Mormons who experience same-sex attraction that their unwelcome feelings will disappear in the afterlife. ... [T]he very structure of heaven can only accommodate opposite-sex marriages.
^Lindsey, Robert (October 30, 1986). "Utah Now Facing Problem of AIDS". The New York Times. New York City. p. A19. ProQuest111005850. Retrieved February 26, 2023. 'A lot of men are forced to marry, and they play around on the side,' said Davyd Daniels, a former Mormon ... William Blevins, 40, a former librarian at the Mormon Church's genealogical center, said the church put pressure on him to marry at 24 in belief 'it would cure me' of homosexual leanings. It did not, he said, adding that 'I still had my feelings' and that after he fathered four children the church discharged him, then excommunicated him and forced him to disclose the identities of several other employees at the church's headquarters with whom he had had sexual relations.
^"Melanie Laycock-Bastian". Deseret News. 2016. Retrieved August 16, 2018 – via Legacy.com. In 1976, she married Bruce W. Bastian and together they had four sons. The couple divorced in 1993 but remained close.
^Golden, Daniel (April 6, 2006), "Scholar of Mormon History, Expelled From Church, Hits a Wall in Job Search", The Wall Street Journal, p. A1, Mr. Quinn's personal life contributed to his estrangement from the church. The father of four was divorced in 1985 and came out as a homosexual in 1996 when he published a book about same-sex friendships and romances in 19th-century Mormonism. The church condemns homosexual behavior. Mr. Quinn says he still believes in the 'fundamentals' of Mormonism but doesn't practice the faith.
^Kimball, Spencer W. (1976) [1969]. The Miracle of Forgiveness (23rd print ed.). Bookcraft. p. 82,86. ISBN978-0-88494-192-7. Retrieved February 27, 2023 – via Internet Archive. [Homosexuality] is curable and forgivable. ... Certainly it can be overcome .... [T]o those who say that this practice ... is incurable, I respond: 'How can you say the door cannot be opened until your knuckles are bloody ...? It can be done.' ... Some have ... convinced themselves that they ... have no desire toward the opposite sex. ... [L]et this individual repent of his perversion, force himself to return to normal pursuits and interests ... with the opposite sex, and this normal pattern [heterosexual dating] can become natural again.
^Kimball, Spencer W.; Petersen, Mark (1970). Hope for Transgressors. LDS Church. pp. 5–6. Retrieved February 27, 2023 – via Internet Archive. The entrenched homosexual has ... moved all of his interests and affections to those of his own sex ... and herein is another step. When you feel he is ready he should be encouraged to date and gradually move his life toward the normal. ...[G]radually they can move their romantic interests where they belong. Marriage and normal life can follow.
^Understanding and Changing Homosexual Orientation Problems. LDS Church. 1981. pp. 20, 25. Retrieved February 27, 2023 – via Brigham Young University. Homosexual orientation problems ... are often a reflection of poor interpersonal relationships with ... peers. ... Discuss dating and dating practices. Give female interaction assignments. ...[S]peaking to a girl may be considered a task, as may inviting her to a movie. However, to actually meet her, escort her to the movie, escort her home, and say goodnight is an experience cycle ... designed to meet a predetermined goal.
^Homosexuality. Salt Lake City, Utah: LDS Church. 1981. p. 6. Retrieved February 27, 2023. Encourage the member to be in appropriate situations with members of the opposite sex, even if he has to force himself. ... Encourage him (if single) to begin dating and gradually increase its frequency.
^Fletcher Stack, Peggy (November 9, 1997). "42 Percent At BYU Want Gays Kept Out; Gays Unwelcome, Say Many at BYU". The Salt Lake Tribune. Salt Lake City, Utah. p. B5. ProQuest288817289. Archived from the original on February 4, 2022. Retrieved February 27, 2023 – via Newspapers.com. Respondents then were asked four questions: 1. Would they gracefully decline or accept the request to work with him for one year? 2. After one year, he is romantic and sexually attracted to you, but he still has same-sex attraction. He promises never to engage in any sex outside marriage. Would you accept or decline? 3. You continue your friendship and he works hard until you are convinced he has only a weak same-sex attraction. He is romantically and sexually attracted to you. Would you accept or decline? 4. Would your response change if he had never been sexually active?Researchers found that 33 percent answered yes to question 1; 11 percent to question 2; 23 percent to question 3; and 33 percent to question 4.
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