She had a 15-year marriage to Harvey Hawken and they had four sons. She divorced in 1980. In 1988, when she was 46, she met the woman who later became her wife, Diane Divelbess.
In 1989, responding to a question during a routine security clearance interview, she disclosed that she is a lesbian. The National Guard began military discharge proceedings against her. On June 11, 1992, she was honorably discharged. Cammermeyer filed a lawsuit against the decision in civil court. In June 1994, Judge Thomas Zilly of the United States District Court for the Western District of Washington ruled that her discharge and the ban on gays and lesbians serving in the military were unconstitutional. She returned to the National Guard and served as one of the few openly gay or lesbian people in the U.S. military while the "don't ask don't tell" policy was in effect, until her retirement in 1997.
A television movie about Cammermeyer's story, Serving in Silence, was made in 1995, with Glenn Close starring as Cammermeyer. Its content was largely taken from Cammermeyer's autobiography of the same name.
The Point Foundation announced plans to honor Cammermeyer with its Point Legend Award in April 2011.[2]
In 2012, after same-sex marriage was legalized in Washington state, Cammermeyer and her wife Diane Divelbess became the first same-sex couple to get a license in Island County.[3]
^"2010 DACOWITS Committee Members Announced" (Press release). U.S. Department of Defense Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense (Public Affairs). June 2, 2010. Archived from the original on August 29, 2010. Retrieved June 2, 2010.